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“As a hobby” is my response to add a buffer between achieving and frustrating when the cello is mentioned. However, fueled by wild expectations projected onto a young generation, and a personal metamorphosis of memories of a time long gone, the germ of expectations can hardly be quenched, yet I operate in a forceful manner…

A barrel of sour air escapes from my neighbor who regularly coughs while playing a game of majiang on his phone, with the sound on. Under his legs stands a colorful collection of boxes and bags. With fruits? Booze? Documents? Cigarettes? For family or business partners? Before he took his seat, he kindly asked if…

Is there anything I can write down on a sunny afternoon, sitting in the train on my way back from a morning’s work in Suzhou? Everything seems predictable, peaceful and calm. The people I meet along the way walk quietly, look relaxed at their phones, wait patiently in line for a ticket for the bus…

Max and Mathilde visited us last week. I always feel that when family visits us, time becomes more compacted. The number of impressions within a fixed time-frame seem larger. Suddenly, I start to see my own life through the eyes of the visitors as well. This stereo perspective does not always produce a sharp picture….

Ambivalence today. Written on April 19, 2019

Progress. Everything delivered with the touch of a button. Choices everywhere. Everything there is to desire is right in front of you. And in most cases it is delivered for free – I mean free as in: no extra fees. During my trip to Hangzhou, for the very first time I decide to join the…

I struggle with the thought: what is hypocrisy? Perhaps a somewhat charged subject for a Friday evening, but perfectly suited to the somewhat timid, tired, flattened feeling after an intense week. The week itself was fun and diverse, that’s for sure. But somewhere on this Friday, an expectation arose in my mind that I couldn’t…

Hangzhou today. Finally I can finish what started long before the new year. The application for my residence permit that is linked to my work permit. Keep on guard to the very last step! Anything can still go wrong! I have booked my train tickets online, under my “Chinese” name: 林森. This name is printed…

Today I just follow my pen. Let’s see if something comes up as I write. I stare out the window and inspiration spontaneously appears – a long sweep of green, brown, and gray is disturbed by white and blue. Plastic waste… styrofoam boxes, barrels, containers and filled bags… it all seems neatly scattered on the…

Double standards. As silent as they come, so squeaky they scratch when remained unnoticed. Cynically enough, it is easy to point it out to others, while being pointed out is first and foremost irritating. Powerlessness arises especially among those over whom the double standard is poured out. A generation gap does thereby not help. With…