Max and Mathilde visited us last week. I always feel that when family visits us, time becomes more compacted. The number of impressions within a fixed time-frame seem larger. Suddenly, I start to see my own life through the eyes of the visitors as well. This stereo perspective does not always produce a sharp picture.
Looking back on their visit, the central theme Humoresque, with Dvorak’s compliments. The cheerful notes and passionate interplay echoed almost daily through our apartment, and it will be a long time before the sounds of Max and Emme’s duet have silenced.
I was struck by the similarities between my brother and me. Not only in appearance we grow towards each other; also our worldview, our attitude to the daily affairs, our self-doubt and insecurities, in everything we are almost on the same pitch. In a good mood we squeeze this whole thing through a critical and absurdist lens. One person’s joke could easily have been a joke from (or about) the other.
So I have to admit that I miss my brother since this morning. The reunion was so natural that in recent days I didn’t realize how rare such a get-together with Max has been in these past years. It was never a punishment to meet, that’s for sure. But it was often accompanied by a hint of impermanence, an agreed silence, on everyone’s part, perhaps.
I have two brothers and one sister who is older, and I’m glad it is this way. “Completeness” describes the satisfied feeling of the past visit. Credit to her who deserves it: with his bride-to-be, Mathilde, the natural bond was visible. A woman who lives in the sum of the whole, unbothered by blemishes, imperfections… in the case of being with Max: a blunt, misplaced or simply bad joke here and there. She looks forward with curiosity, armed with a large spoonful of salt.
Written on May 2, 2019