Recurring theme: propagating ideals. In a conflict between the world and the universe (“peace in space!”) and the world between 6 walls, a door and a window (“dreams can only come true at home!”). In times where bad, shocking and filtered news is reported at the speed of light, my brain sometimes seems to imagine itself as a mirror, reflecting righteousness back towards the source of the dishonest by a few digital strokes of the pen. Such delusions of grandeur are then challenged at other times, when I project my own pettiness onto my family and I clearly demonstrate the struggle to maintain harmony within my loved ones.
It feels nice, satisfying, to find the peace to let everything take its course at home. To enjoy the unexpected, to acquiesce in the unwanted, to control my attitude in a world with an unknown future. Or – as I read it now – to see the big picture of the world in which family lives.
I would like to grab such a mental anchor with 2 hands, protected against currents, waves, rain and storm, chained to a place that is always beautiful, always changing, always produces surprising, picturesque images when the sun rises above the horizon. But therein lies the challenge. Holding on requires strength – sometimes even more strength than wanting to keep afloat in a wide, beckoning, destitute sea, not knowing if my only anchor buoy will ever come into sight again, swept away by currents.
Written on December 6, 2019